July 2006 – The Setting of New Traditions I – Vows

We love it, when our clients go for the non-traditional. This piece was a collaboration with one of our clients who also happens to design furniture. Her desire for something out of the ordinary brought her to us. She needed something that would not stick out, since she works with her hands, and something that would reflect her personality. We decided on green, square diamonds set off-center, while still relating to each other. It is a balance of proportion, space and metal. You may ask and we will tell. Yes, the green diamonds are irradiated. In other words, they are heat-treated for a permanent color effect. (For more info on heat-treating diamonds, see our June 2004 newsletter “What is a Green Diamond?”)

The fianc� of this betrothed couple has also chosen to go with the non-traditional shapes incorporated into a flat circular band. The offset ellipses show depth, dimension and angle. For additional accentuation, by request of the client, the diamond was set inside the band. We love it and so did they! Both rings are different and yet contain common elements uniting them.

(Below are more ideas for men’s bands. All bands shown are custom made in 18k white gold. Prices range from $1,100 – $1,800.)

Make sure you and your betrothed are on the same page with personalizing your vows. If you go that route, here are a few tips to help you get started.

Incorporating Tradition:

Ask your officiant for a look at the vows that would ordinarily be used at your particular church, synagogue or other ceremonial venue. You can use them as a jumping-off point for your own words of love and commitment. A civil ceremony will give you and your fianc� the freedom to write your own vows. Be sure to ask the officiant, if you will need to include any particular words or terms to make your “I dos” valid in the eyes of your faith or the law.

Celebrate Your History Together:

A look at the past can get you thinking about what you want to promise each other for the future. How did you first meet? What are some milestones of the relationship? When was the first time you exchanged “I love yous”? What are a few of the experiences you’ve shared? What is your favorite memory?

The Commitment:

What do you both consider to be the most meaningful aspect of marriage? What do you want to do with your future together? What do you especially value about one another? What will change when you are married? What is the single greatest thing about the person you are going to marry? Now, it should start becoming clearer what you want to promise each other at the altar.

From the Heart:

You might want to begin by writing your vows in the form of a letter that only your fianc� will see. In your private letter, you’re free to pour your heart out. Then go back and pick out the parts you want to share with the crowd.

Coordinating the Vows:

Some couples choose to keep them a secret from each other, until the big day. If you do decide to surprise each other, just be sure you don’t end up promising different things. Simply compose at least one line with your fianc� that includes the important promises you want to make and then weave them into whatever else you plan to say.

Need More Help?

Try filling in the blanks of this simpler vow:

(Name of your sweetheart), you are my (best friend, one true love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with). Today, I take you to be my (wife, husband, lawfully wedded wife or husband, life partner). I promise you that I will be (faithful, worthy of your trust, worthy of your love, your loving partner). I vow to (honor you, cherish you, love you, respect you, laugh with you, cry with you, support you in your goals), (insert here the length of your vow, for example: for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.)

And there’s always the do-it-yourself road – Write your own poems or read an excerpt from the love letters and cards you’ve exchanged. You can also refer to the classics, such as Shakespeare or other favorite novelists and poets. Practice saying your vows before the ceremony and also keep a note card with you in case of stage fright. Whichever road you choose, it is important to speak from the heart.

Congratulations to those about to embark on your nuptials and to those of you who are renewing them!

Resources: www.brides.com, www.weddings.about.com

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Thank you.